Surrender: The First Step!

Surrender: The First Step!

When someone mentions the word “Surrender”, what does that mean to
you? We commonly mistake surrender for giving up. Unfortunately
there is a fine line between obsessive control and determination or
between surrendering and giving up.

Imagine hanging onto a small branch on the side of a cliff. You
would hold on as tightly as possible to keep from falling to the
ground wouldn’t you? You would grit your teeth with a dogged
determination vowing not to give up until help arrives. The last
thing you want to do is surrender to the inevitable fate of falling.

Now, what if I told you the danger is not real and that you are
actually only two feet from the ground? Would you loosen your grip
on the branch? Of course you would! This is Surrender. It is the
ability to relax one’s grip on life in the place of the ILLUSION of danger.

Yes. It is possible your business might fail. Your wife or husband
may divorce you. Your whole city could be wiped out by a natural
disaster or terrorist attack. This doesn’t mean you don’t do what
you can to be prepared. But you are defeating yourself when you
try to control things outside of your direct influence.

Surrender is demonstrated by the willingness to let go of the need
to control things OUTSIDE of your direct influence.

Surrender happens when you do what you can do in the moment, and
let go of the things that are outside of your control.

Here is a way to experience Control versus Surrender. Clench your
fist. Make your hand so tight that nothing can slip through into
your palm. What would you do if I wanted to put $1,000 into the
palm of your hand right now? Would you keep your fist clenched or
would you surrender your clenched hand to accept what I am
offering? Life works the same way. When your mind is clenched
you cannot open yourself to the riches you deserve.

Here is a quote from Lao Tzu – “He who grasps loses.” Remember it!

Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation
that you are making progress – IF YOU LOOK FOR IT! No matter how
large or small, please record it in your Evidence Journal. It will
only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.



Surrender to the Flow!

Breakthroughs do not happen when we are stressed. They happen when we finally let go and stop struggling. Resistance is at the heart of struggle. Although what we are resisting feels like it is “out there” the resistance is really inside of us. That is, if you are resisting anything you are really fighting yourself.

When we resist something we increase the amount of struggle in our lives, thus increasing how much scarcity we experience.

When we resist, we make things harder than they have to be. By making things difficult we create struggle and prolong getting where we want to be.

Often, we make things complicated because we are afraid to decide. We fear the unknown (What will happen if…?), and we fear making a mistake. The excuse I hear most is that my clients are afraid of making the wrong decision.  They fear being permanently locked into the consequences of their choice.

Consider this for a moment: What if there are no “wrong” choices, only choices? Even if we don’t make the best choice, we will be guided to what we need to learn.

All great athletes understand this concept. They know they can only anticipate so much, but have to make constant, instantaneous decisions IN THE MOMENT.

So who doesn’t want to stop struggling? More people than you can imagine. I struggled for most of my life with the illusion of struggle. The strongest power of any illusion is its ability to keep you believing it is real.

Giving up struggle is twofold.  You must let go of both the past and the future to activate what is needed right now. Your hard work alone cannot create results. You must also give up struggling and trying to force things to happen.

Flow happens when we accept and embrace “WHAT IS”. Flow happens when we release our death grip on resistance and insistence and instead step back and take more conscious actions.

Flow is the lack of resistance. It is effortless. The magic happens when you believe in possibilities and the get out of your own way.

Your Inner Voice: Surrendering to the Flow!

“How do these geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? How do we know when to go? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.”
                                                                                                          – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.
Trusting yourself is a major sign of surrendering to the flow. As in the above quote, the geese don’t argue about when it’s time to fly south, they just know.  They seem to have a voice inside telling them, “It’s time.”
How can you begin to hear your own inner voice?  Start by letting go of blame.  Blaming other people and situations lets our egos feel safe, but it muffles our inner voice.  The less victimized we feel by our background, work history, past relationships, health, age, etc., the louder our inner voice becomes.  This is partly due to a reduction of the wrong noises caused by excess drama and partly due to your willingness to hear.
After hearing your inner voice, the next step is to trust.  Trust what you hear and dare to act on it. This is a learned skill, and it takes a lot of practice. Don’t be alarmed if you act on something that seems like your inner voice and it proves to be something else. Sometimes our egos want to get into the game and will play tricks on us.  Just like any skill, it takes practice to know the difference.  How can you tell?  It varies for each of us, but here’s a couple of tips:  
  • Are you considering taking action based on being right?  This is likely your ego, not internal wisdom.
  • Are you waffling back and forth about taking action?  That is probably your ego, trying to be safe.
In these cases ask yourself, “If I knew I couldn’t do it wrong, what would I do?” This will give you an answer that is not coming from fear or ego.
Begin to notice how you feel when your inner voice leads you in the right direction. Pay special attention to the fact that what it says may not seem logical or rational. Your inner voice has a non-linear way of communicating. It’s your job to discover your own patterns and trust that, no matter what it looks like on the surface, there are good reasons to honor your internal wisdom. Looking back on a situation you feared, how often do you realize it was the best thing for you after all?

“The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.  What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
                                                                                                  – Richard Bach

Benefits of Life Coaching – Part III

Discernment Through Balance

Balance is a tough thing to achieve.  When you are working hard for a goal, it’s easy to lose sight of other parts of your life.  If you are trying to make partner at the law firm, you may work extra hours at the law firm and less time with your family.  If you’re trying to write a novel, you may stay up writing late into the night, oversleep and arrive late to work the next day.  If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, you may not be able to see the beauty of the world around you. 

A life coach teaches you how to maintain balance so you don’t lose yourself in the chase, and reminds you to keep in touch with the people and things you value.  A coach also helps you identify what elements need patience, which aren’t working, and how to deal with both.

With the support of a life coach, you will be able to:

  • Identify and overcome limiting beliefs
  • Give yourself permission to do what you really want to do
  • Uncover patterns that have kept you from making changes
  • Believe in your God-given abilities (we ALL have them)
  • Break free from self-defeating habits (we all have these, too)
  • Successfully pursue your dream and go beyond previous limitations

Click HERE  to read about other benefits of Life Coaching.