In order to move forward, I had to ask myself some good (hard) questions. Believe me, finding the answers was not easy, but they are usually invaluable wake up calls.
Here’s a big one about letting your past dictate your present: To what extent do I believe that my life today is affected negatively by things that happened to me in the past? Why?
Remember last week’s post about test anxiety? When I applied this question to that experience, I saw how it had grown, and my fear of failure didn’t just apply to tests any more. I was afraid of speaking up in meetings, of asking for a raise (back when we actually got raises), or even just asking to take one of my (earned) vacation days.
My perception of my past failures had grown into a monster. I failed a test, so I will fail at every test, so I am a failure. I don’t deserve…I’m not worth…They will just say no…
It had gone too far!
Are you letting your past determine who you are today? The ability to let that go and create yourself anew, each and every day, is completely in your hands.
All those times you stepped into an elevator full of people and they all looked away.
All those times you walked down the supermarket aisle or down the street and others avoided your gaze.
All those times you were at the gas station. As you looked across the car roof tops there were others seemingly like you, doing the same thing. You looked at them; they too avoided your gaze – the flipping numbers of their gas pump were safer to look at.
All those times when you were in a public bathroom – the silence as you entered, they dared not make a noise for risk of being noticed – by you.
This all happens because you are the most dangerous person in the world! In fact, everyone is scared of everyone. It’s like waking up in the morning and being scared of your hands!
Remember this the next time you go to a networking event, or the next time you are delivering a keynote speech or workshop.
If you are the most dangerous person in the world, then so is everybody else. Everyone is scared of everyone! Isn’t that amazing?
So, I say go forward in love and with a great smile – maybe you won’t be perceived as the most dangerous person in the world today. Who knows, someone may even smile back and talk to you. Now wouldn’t that be scary!