Our values determine which emotions are most important to us. For example, which of the following emotions are most important to you?  Put another way, which do you want to feel on a consistent basis?

Personal growth

Now, ask yourself, what do I need to do to feel these emotions? For example, what do you need in order to feel love? The answer to that question becomes a rule we define for ourselves, telling us what needs to happen for us to experience the desired emotions. Action/circumstance = Desired emotion

Our rules can support us, as in, “To feel freedom I need to work for myself in a business that I love,” or they can hold us back, as in, “To feel freedom no one can ever tell me what to do, so I can never work in a team.”

What are your rules?  Are you using them to push yourself forward, or to hold yourself back?

What we commit to do is where the rubber meets the road. It’s our actions that propel us toward our desired outcomes. Thinking about it, planning it, wondering about it are all parts of the process, but not the whole package.

You must act. Without action, there’s too much room for fear and doubt. Have you ever thought, “I’d like to do that,” about something challenging, then had too much time to think about it? Did you talk yourself out of it?  What did you focus on? How easy it would be, or on what could go wrong?  How many times does fear stop you?

Commitment to action is the only way to get where we want to be. Action becomes a habit. The more we do it, the more we get used to it, the easier it becomes, even with the challenging stuff.

What are three actions you could commit to today, that would propel you towards your desired outcomes? If you want more joy in your life, what is something you can do today that will make you smile? It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. It can be any little something that allows you a secret (or not so secret!) smile of pleasure.

The quality of our life is determined by how we choose to conduct ourselves, what we choose to believe in, what we value and what we commit to doing. We have the power to choose all of these things. That is the most valuable power there is: The freedom to choose, in each instant, who we want to be.


Let Go of Past Fear #1: Why Your Negative Past Needs to Go

Have you thought about the positive effects of letting go? There are all kinds of things we would be better off letting go, but let’s focus on one of the hardest – the past. Letting go of the past is critical. I’ll start with a simple definition:  Letting go of the past is making a choice to live life in the present, in a positive way, regardless of anything negative that may have occurred in before.

Anthony Robbins says time and time again, “The past does not equal the future.” What does this mean, and why is it so important? What usually happens when we fail at something – try hard and fall flat on our face? Right!  We say to heck with that, I’m not trying that again.   It happens all of us, but do you remember when it began?

When we are kids, we usually would just get back up and try again until we got it right. We let go of that past failure quickly and tried again. I remember how many times I had to try to catch myself while skating backwards trying to play roller hockey. Falling and falling and falling again was certainly embarrassing, but eventually I got it.

Then I got a bit older, and I failed an organic chemistry exam my junior year of college (well who hasn’t, right?).  But that was a hump I never let myself overcome. I was so afraid of failing – petrified in fact – that I ended up failing another exam and, ultimately, the class.  To this day, I cannot stand the idea of taking a written test; that old fear is still there.

This has shaped my destiny in many ways.  I finally took the GRE,but still decided to join the 9 to 5′ers. Work wasn’t as scary.  I’d done work.  I didn’t fail at work.  I was good at work.  We tend to do what (we think is) is easier. Eventually, I was able to get the courage to start college. So glad I did.

Do I regret not overcoming some fears? Yes ! I hate the idea of letting something defeat me. But here’s the trick:  That decision to let fear rule me?  It’s in the past.  So I need to let it go.  Once I do that, I can decide whether I want to walk the same path today, or try something new.

Benefits of Life Coaching – Part II

Usable Advice for Setting and Reaching Goals

If you are reading this, chances are you have a goal you want to reach.  How do you know it’s the right one?  Did you choose it because you should do it, can do it, or ought to do it?  Do you think others expect you to do it?  Do you think something terrible will happen if you don’t do it?  How about, do you WANT to do it?  Most people skip that vital piece and continue to fall short because they don’t really want the goal they’re chasing.  You are far more likely to succeed if your goal is something you WANT.

 A life coach is a personal teacher, guidepost and cheerleader to help you:

  • Name your ideal goal
  • Create a realistic plan to achieve it
  • Identify obstacles and explore strategies to overcome them
  • Face and overcome challenges and fears (real and imaginary)
  • Stay motivated and focused
  • Recognize progress and growth 

Click HERE to read about other benefits of Life Coaching.

Why Use a Life Coach?

Can you remember when you were a child and everything was possible, when no goal was unattainable?  Working with a life coach helps you rediscover that level of possibility and brings any goal within your reach.

Do you wonder why you set goals – maybe even the same goal – over and over and never reach it?  Did you know that there are several levels to goal setting, and each one increases your chances of success? 

If you have an idea, you already have a 10% chance of making it happen.

If you make a conscious decision about when you’ll do something, you have a 40% chance of doing it.

If you create a plan, you have a 50% chance of taking action.

If you make a commitment to someone else, you have a 65% chance of carrying it out.

If you make an appointment to report back to that person with a progress report, you have a 95% chance of going through with it.    

If you do all this, plus have someone to cheer you on, hold you accountable, and keep you on track…YOU CAN’T LOSE!   You can’t win the race if you don’t know where you’re going!  Christian life coaching helps you train for the race of life. It helps you to clarify your goals and remember where you’re headed and why.

“Throw off everything that hinders and the sin that easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus … so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Heb 12:1-3

Click HERE to read about the benefits of using a Life Coach.