Creating Your Ultimate Goal with Life Coaching

How Does Goal Setting Create Our Destiny?

Today we’re going to look at a few examples of how the goals we set and achieve can create our destiny.

  • Bill Gates had a goal of providing easy-to-use software for personal computers
  • Oprah Winfrey’s goal was to bring quality entertainment projects into production
  • Anthony Robbins’ goals included finding out why we do what we do and to help those in need of food and now feeds over 2,000,000 worldwide through his foundation.
  • Finally, one of my personal favorites, Herb Brooks had a goal of winning a Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics coaching the United States ice hockey team.

All these phenomenal people created their destinies by setting and achieving goals!

Get Control of Your Life by Setting Goals

Not only will a life coach help you set the right goals, but your chances of achieving your goals will increase as well. Setting goals and attaining them is how we create the destiny of our choice. Why? Without goals, we are leaving our destiny to chance – like a leaf falling from a tall tree on a windy day. The wind will take the leaf wherever it blows. The leaf does not its direction and ultimate destination. Does this analogy imply that goals give us control? Absolutely! If our daily goals are to get up, get to work and get through the day so we can make a living, what destiny will this create?

An excellent method to begin taking control of your destiny is to utilize goal setting, and a life coach can help you do that. Here are five easy-to-use, proven tips for achieving your goals and thus taking control of your destiny:

1. Decide what is realistically attainable for you in these areas: health, relationships, finances, career, spirituality, family, personal development and quality of life. Get specific.  Your life coach will help you identify the right goals in each area. Why set goals in all areas of our life? Because we want to have balance. Remember, success in these areas is measured differently for all of us. The point is to know exactly what you want and take action to make it happen.

2. Get leverage on yourself – you must decide that you want to achieve these goals and that you will not settle for anything less. What does leverage do? Leverage means that you have hit a threshold that says, “I want to change this NOW.” When we reach this threshold, we will take action toward our goals. Remember, goals without action are just wishes.

3. Set a deadline for each goal, a date and time if possible. Your life coach knows if you don’t set a date, it’s not a real goal. So, when will the goal be realized? How does this help? Making your goal time specific will help you know if you are on track to achieving your goal. Committing to your deadline will motivate you to take consistent action. In addition, knowing specifically when you want to complete your goal gives your mind clarity about when it has to be realized. This is a power in itself. I love the old saying, “clarity is power.”

4. Next, your life coach will help you create an action plan made up of small steps taken every day. Once again, goals without action are just wishes. If you don’t take action on a goal, is it possible fear is blocking you? Sometimes a goal will look so big our minds convince us the goal is not worth going through the pain of achieving it. One common block to goal reaching is the fear of failing.  Our minds tell us, “I’m going to fail anyway, so why bother trying?” Don’t get caught up in these mind games. Do you think the four people noted at the top of this article didn’t have fear? That’s doubtful.  But it’s obvious they did not let their fears stop them. Why? I believe they had a “whatever it takes” attitude. They didn’t let fear get in their way.

In the action plan stage, your life coach will help you identify the obstacles (physical, financial, and emotional) standing in your way, as well as steps to overcome them.  This will be your road map, getting you to your goal with small, clear, workable steps each day.   How does this help? Writing down your plan for goal attainment increases the chance you will follow through and take the actions written. Why? You know what action you need to take and when to take it. This is the power of clarity I mentioned earlier; Life coaching helps create higher levels of clarity. This clarity is so powerful you will create an unstoppable momentum, driving you to your goal!

5. Notice if the actions you are taking are giving you the results you want. This is how you measure whether or not you are achieving your goal. The life coach will help you identify this. If you are not moving towards achieving your goal, you need to change your actions. Why? If you keep taking the same actions, you will usually create the same results. This cause and effect relationship between your actions and the results must be monitored so you can modify them to produce the results you want. You wouldn’t keep spending money on advertising your product in the newspaper if it yielded you zero sales, right? If you see your method is not working, change it until you find something that does. You can speed up this process by talking to people that have already gotten the results you seek. Ask them how they did it and replicate their efforts!

With these 5 steps, life coaching can help you create the destiny of your choice. Do you want to be like the leaf, or do you want to be the captain of your ship and take it to your chosen destination? The choice is always ours to make. The difference will be evident when comparing our overall level of happiness in the past, present and future years to come. Moving towards a destiny of choice will create a happier, joyful and fulfilled life.

Start today by thinking about the kind of person you are. Are you happy with yourself and what you have achieved? Who are you becoming, and what or who are you dedicating your life to? If you’re happy with this, great! If not, I have a question for you: Are you willing to do something about it? If so, personal life coaching can help you on your journey of change.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

–       Anthony Robbins, Personal Power

For things to change, we have got to change.

–       Jim Rohn


Let Go of Past Fear #1: Why Your Negative Past Needs to Go

Have you thought about the positive effects of letting go? There are all kinds of things we would be better off letting go, but let’s focus on one of the hardest – the past. Letting go of the past is critical. I’ll start with a simple definition:  Letting go of the past is making a choice to live life in the present, in a positive way, regardless of anything negative that may have occurred in before.

Anthony Robbins says time and time again, “The past does not equal the future.” What does this mean, and why is it so important? What usually happens when we fail at something – try hard and fall flat on our face? Right!  We say to heck with that, I’m not trying that again.   It happens all of us, but do you remember when it began?

When we are kids, we usually would just get back up and try again until we got it right. We let go of that past failure quickly and tried again. I remember how many times I had to try to catch myself while skating backwards trying to play roller hockey. Falling and falling and falling again was certainly embarrassing, but eventually I got it.

Then I got a bit older, and I failed an organic chemistry exam my junior year of college (well who hasn’t, right?).  But that was a hump I never let myself overcome. I was so afraid of failing – petrified in fact – that I ended up failing another exam and, ultimately, the class.  To this day, I cannot stand the idea of taking a written test; that old fear is still there.

This has shaped my destiny in many ways.  I finally took the GRE,but still decided to join the 9 to 5′ers. Work wasn’t as scary.  I’d done work.  I didn’t fail at work.  I was good at work.  We tend to do what (we think is) is easier. Eventually, I was able to get the courage to start college. So glad I did.

Do I regret not overcoming some fears? Yes ! I hate the idea of letting something defeat me. But here’s the trick:  That decision to let fear rule me?  It’s in the past.  So I need to let it go.  Once I do that, I can decide whether I want to walk the same path today, or try something new.

The Happiness Bank

When asked about their goal, someone said, “To be happy.” Why would that be a goal, when it’s something you can have right now? Being happy is about making more decisions, saying yes to more opportunities, doing things that stretch you and contributing beyond yourself. For me coaching has provided all of this and so much more, but when I first looked at coaching I was afraid of failing and of not being good enough, so I procrastinated.

I kept seeing ALL the steps needed to be a coach, which terrified me. It looked daunting and unmanageable and too much for me, so I kept putting off the decision to learn how to be a coach.

I wasn’t a happy person back then. Every time I pulled back from decisions I eroded some of my confidence. The more I procrastinated, the more I could beat up on myself for not being good enough. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I was ultimately frozen with fear.

When I decided to only focus on the next step, I could manage it more easily. I still felt anxious, but less so, and because I was calmer, there was room for some positive thinking in there as well… like, maybe I can do this?

I’ve come a long way since then. Now I feel happier each day. It’s no longer a goal. I’ve learned that playing it safe is dangerous to our self-esteem, so I choose to make the most of every day. The more decisions I make, the more I say yes to possibilities, the more I stretch myself and contribute to those around me, the better I feel.

Each and every day you are either adding to or subtracting from your Happiness Bank. The decisions you don’t make subtract from your Happiness Bank and the decisions you do make add to your Happiness Bank. The longer we sit and “wonder” what to do, the lower the account goes. And no matter what we believe, fear, wonder or ponder, right now we are either adding or subtracting to The Bank.

I aim every day to ADD to my Happiness Bank, and I know I alone am responsible for it. I didn’t know that ten years ago, but I wish I had.