How to Deal with People Who Make You Angry.

How to Deal with People Who Make You Angry.

Do you often feel irritated and annoyed by other people?
Do you find yourself blaming others for your frustrations?
Do you get angry about people who you think are rude, inconsiderate, incompetent, annoying, or indifferent?
There is a simple way of dealing with how you feel, and it’s this… Realize that your reaction is actually YOUR problem!
Yes, you’ve read right. The problem isn’t ‘them’; it’s you… or, more accurately, the problem is how you react to them.
When you allow yourself to react adversely (even if you think it justified) to some external happening or event, your emotional response will cause problems for you.
Your adverse reaction will eat at you, consume you, create tension, potentially give you stomach pains or a headache, and drain you of energy and happiness.
Wouldn’t you sooner give your thoughts and time to something more positive?
Whenever you feel the emotional hackles rising, focus on responding in a peaceful and calm way. Take a deep breath (or several). Count to 60. As you do so, let go of the need to respond or react in a negative emotional way.
Other people will always create testing situations. That’s the way it is. The secret is responding in a way that is calm, compassionate, nurturing (for self & others), and accepting, so as to navigate through whatever challenge presents itself without adverse effects.
So, next time you point the finger at someone or feel angry because of something they say or do, change how you react. Breathe and count to 60. Let it go, and get on with the much more interesting and fulfilling things in your life.
Today’s quote:
‘Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.’ – Joseph Campbell  (DJS)

Dirty Windows or Blurred Vision?

I read a story about a business owner who constantly complained about the dirty windows of his competitor’s store, directly across the street from his own. Perhaps it was just his pet peeve, but the store owner complained continually to other business owners in the community about how his competitor’s dirty windows were a disgrace to the community, and how it could reflect poorly on his own business.Another local shopkeeper, tired of hearing the owner’s ongoing complaints, suggested that he set a good example and wash his own store windows. The store owner took the shopkeeper’s advice and washed his own windows. The following day, the two met for coffee and the store owner, remarked, “You were right. It worked! As soon as I washed my windows, my competitor must have washed their store windows also! This morning I noticed from my store that they were clean and shining!”

The store owner had simply suffered from blurred vision. He judged his competitor wrongly! When he cleaned the windows of his own store, he was able to see that his competitor’s windows were also clean!

Sometimes, we look at others with blurred vision. We see things in other people’s lives that we don’t think are right or acceptable and find fault with them. We judge them. Sometimes, like the store owner, we complain to others about the faults we think we see. But, too often when we find fault in others it is simply because our own vision is blurry. I know, for example, when I find fault in others it is often regarding issues I have in my own life. I find that I have a tendency to project real faults in myself – onto others – who most likely don’t have those faults at all.

Today, when you are tempted to judge or complain about someone, take a moment first to see if it is only your own vision that is blurred. (DJS)

The Power of Gratitude: The Secret to Moving Forward

Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.

Gratitude can transform your life. Are you allowing minor things to get in the way of your transformation and the life you deserve?

Your Inner Voice: Surrendering to the Flow!

“How do these geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? How do we know when to go? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.”
                                                                                                          – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.
Trusting yourself is a major sign of surrendering to the flow. As in the above quote, the geese don’t argue about when it’s time to fly south, they just know.  They seem to have a voice inside telling them, “It’s time.”
How can you begin to hear your own inner voice?  Start by letting go of blame.  Blaming other people and situations lets our egos feel safe, but it muffles our inner voice.  The less victimized we feel by our background, work history, past relationships, health, age, etc., the louder our inner voice becomes.  This is partly due to a reduction of the wrong noises caused by excess drama and partly due to your willingness to hear.
After hearing your inner voice, the next step is to trust.  Trust what you hear and dare to act on it. This is a learned skill, and it takes a lot of practice. Don’t be alarmed if you act on something that seems like your inner voice and it proves to be something else. Sometimes our egos want to get into the game and will play tricks on us.  Just like any skill, it takes practice to know the difference.  How can you tell?  It varies for each of us, but here’s a couple of tips:  
  • Are you considering taking action based on being right?  This is likely your ego, not internal wisdom.
  • Are you waffling back and forth about taking action?  That is probably your ego, trying to be safe.
In these cases ask yourself, “If I knew I couldn’t do it wrong, what would I do?” This will give you an answer that is not coming from fear or ego.
Begin to notice how you feel when your inner voice leads you in the right direction. Pay special attention to the fact that what it says may not seem logical or rational. Your inner voice has a non-linear way of communicating. It’s your job to discover your own patterns and trust that, no matter what it looks like on the surface, there are good reasons to honor your internal wisdom. Looking back on a situation you feared, how often do you realize it was the best thing for you after all?

“The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.  What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
                                                                                                  – Richard Bach