How to Deal with People Who Make You Angry.
Do you often feel irritated and annoyed by other people?
Do you find yourself blaming others for your frustrations?
Do you get angry about people who you think are rude, inconsiderate, incompetent, annoying, or indifferent?
There is a simple way of dealing with how you feel, and it’s this… Realize that your reaction is actually YOUR problem!
Yes, you’ve read right. The problem isn’t ‘them’; it’s you… or, more accurately, the problem is how you react to them.
When you allow yourself to react adversely (even if you think it justified) to some external happening or event, your emotional response will cause problems for you.
Your adverse reaction will eat at you, consume you, create tension, potentially give you stomach pains or a headache, and drain you of energy and happiness.
Wouldn’t you sooner give your thoughts and time to something more positive?
Whenever you feel the emotional hackles rising, focus on responding in a peaceful and calm way. Take a deep breath (or several). Count to 60. As you do so, let go of the need to respond or react in a negative emotional way.
Other people will always create testing situations. That’s the way it is. The secret is responding in a way that is calm, compassionate, nurturing (for self & others), and accepting, so as to navigate through whatever challenge presents itself without adverse effects.
So, next time you point the finger at someone or feel angry because of something they say or do, change how you react. Breathe and count to 60. Let it go, and get on with the much more interesting and fulfilling things in your life.
‘Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.’ – Joseph Campbell (DJS)
Anger is a feeling of powerlessness. However, within your anger is a tremendous sense of power, purpose, passion and meaning because when you feel angry, it’s because you wanted to do something and you were blocked from doing it. People usually think of emotions as good or bad and they think that anger is a bad emotion, that you shouldn’t have it. That if somehow you feel angry, then you are not a nice person, or you’re not a spiritual person. From my vantage point, it is a rather good emotion because if you analyze the frequency of anger, it is an emotion that churns. It is trying to get you off your duff to do something about the situation. The truth is that no emotion is negative unless we refuse to feel it. That’s when it becomes destructive. We are only required to feel our emotions and release them. Even the most beautiful emotion of love will become destructive if refused to be felt.
So, anger is what it is, and if you judge yourself for feeling angry, then you are going to think that anger is bad. We like to feel the so-called positive emotions and take credit for the realities that they create. But what happens when you refuse to feel and release the so-called negative emotions like anger because you are afraid it’s going to be painful? Well it’s your emotion and you created it, so where is it going to go? If you don’t feel it and release it, you will either stuff it in your physical body, or into your extended body called your reality.
So when you swallow your anger, or stuff it down because you want to be a nice person and you don’t want to show it, over time your body might respond with symptoms of pain and inflammation as it is trying to say to you that it is not able to put up with the anger that has gotten stashed in it. If this happens, here are some of the ways you can deal with it.
1. Release all judgments and criticisms about yourself. The purpose of judgments is to make you not feel which is what got you in the situation in the first place.
2. Forgive your body for having to make your life miserable in order to bring this to your attention.
3. Honor and own that this is your creation in order for you to pay attention to, and see how you have given your power away to other people and circumstances to offer you the opportunity to step into your power now.
4.Give your body tremendous love as part of the healing process without any judgments or resentments at it for limiting you.
5.Give your body basic kinesthetic pleasure as part of loving it. Perhaps a gentle massage energy healing or a mineral bath.
6. Address your anger. This is probably the most important step in releasing that feeling of powerlessness out of your psyche so that you are able to step into your power. Remember to reframe and transmute energy.
7. Promise your body that you are going to love it and care for it and you are going to work in partnership with it. This will build trust between you and your body. Then imagine yourself healed in the not too distant future.
If you will take these seven steps, you will release anger out of your body, and you will heal yourself. (DJS)