The Vibration (s) of Our Lives

The Vibration of our Lives
Everything that manifests in your life or anybody else’s life that
you are observing, is nothing more than an indication of your
vibrational frequency.  It is an INDICATOR.  Indicators are
manifestations of what you have been doing vibrationally. Period.
So if wonderful things are happening, you are receiving
indications of the vibrations you have been sending out. If things
have been out of control in your life, then you’ve got negative
manifestations of what you have been offering vibrationally.

Indicators are just that – indicators.  You don’t want to kill the
messenger. You don’t go to the gas station when the gas gauge is on
empty and lay your head on the steering wheel in utter despair and
say, “Oh look at what I have done. The gas gauge is on empty but I
kept driving. My life is a mess”. The gas gauge is an indicator and
you know you have to do something about it.  You don’t paste a
happy face sticker over the gas gauge because it is depressing to
see you are on empty.  And you don’t usually wait until you are
completely out of gas and standing on the side of the road. You
fill it up don’t you?

That’s what we are talking about here. We are talking about your
indicator that lets you know what your habit of thought has been.
And if you have been feeling pretty crummy lately then it is time
for a fill up. If things are not going the way you want them to –
it’s time to change your thoughts about it.  It’s time to offer
some more deliberate thought. It’s time to seek a better attitude.
It’s time to stop blaming yourself and others, stop feeling sorry
for yourself and become more positive, even in the smallest way.
Don’t blame your “indicator”. Instead, train your mind to look for
the good things in your life and you will find them.

Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation
that you are making progress – IF YOU LOOK FOR IT!  No matter how
large or small, please record it in your Evidence Journal. It will
only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.

DJS

 

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Responding To Conflict

Responding to Conflict

Conflict is part of life. It may originate from misunderstandings, a difference of opinion, or deep convictions. But oftentimes, discord stems from envy, pride, or hunger for power.

No one can control another person’s response to conflict; we’re accountable only for how we handle it. Sadly, many people have unhealthy reactions to disagreement. Some ignore the issue or pretend it doesn’t exist. Others place blame while defending themselves.

These negative responses often indicate one of three underlying scenarios. First, past hurts can leave a person emotionally insecure and unable to handle criticism. Second, a perfectionist sets such high benchmarks that he can never live up to his own standards—then it’s hard to acknowledge mistakes. Finally, pride makes it hard for some to admit when they’re wrong or to ask forgiveness.

Unless we respond correctly to conflict, we limit our potential to grow, because we aren’t learning what God is teaching. Also, we can develop an unforgiving spirit, which leads to bitterness and resentment. Eventually, such an attitude can destroy relationships.

How do you deal with accusations and criticism? Forgiveness is the only response that will keep you from becoming a victim of bitterness. (DJS)

Brokenness !

Brokenness

“We have to see our brokenness as a sign of strength, not of weakness. When a person is truly broken of ego and can look at personal issues with a healthy perspective, he or she is ready to become the transitional generation from one of dysfunction to one of health.” (DJS)

A man e-mailed me after hearing me talk about this idea of brokenness. He wrote, “Life in my family is miserable. I grew up in a horribly dysfunctional home, and now I realize I have been imitating my family. When my mom got desperate to get our attention, she yelled. Now I find myself doing the same thing with my kids and my wife. I took your advice and went to a counselor. After two sessions, I can honestly say I feel like I am on the way to a better relationship with my kids and my wife. The counselor asked me to look at my own hurts and deal with them before I tried to fix my family’s problems.”

This man’s life may not necessarily get easier immediately. In fact, it may get harder. Sometimes before freedom comes pain. But by facing his brokenness, he has a chance to bring a brighter future to his family. Someone once said, “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.” The most genuine, authentic people are those who admit their struggles and seek God’s unfailing love and forgiveness.

If you’ve yet to face your brokenness head-on, take the time to get the help you need to make a difference in your life and in your family.

The first three steps in the twelve-step program for recovering addicts apply to everyone. Here is my personal paraphrase of those three steps:

1. I can’t do it on my own. I am broken.

2. God can and will help me as I call upon Him.

3. I must relinquish my will to the will of God.

By acknowledging these truths, we will be on our way to facing our brokenness and onto the pathway to recovery and health.

GOING DEEPER:

1. What areas of your life do you struggle to face your brokenness?

2. What steps are you willing to make today to deal with these areas? (DJS)

Let It Go!

Let it Go!

Once there were two men lost at sea. They spent many days on a small boat and rationed their food equally. After weeks had past, the two men started to quarrel and resent each other. They decided to designate the right side of the boat for one man and the left side of the boat for the other. This worked for a while until the two began to fight again incessantly.

Finally, the man on the right side of the boat picked up a hammer and started hacking away at the left side of the boat. “I hope you end up at the bottom of the sea!” he yelled. Even as the water started seeping into both sides of the boat and the boat started to sink, the man kept hammering away, wanting nothing more than to harm his adversary — even if it meant harming himself.

This story perfectly illustrates the foolishness that can result from anger, resentment, and jealousy. These negative emotions are blinding and can lead a person to do irrational and counter-productive things — even to his or her own detriment. The truth is that these emotions are self-defeating. I recently read this quote: “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping that the other person dies.” Whenever we feel jealousy or anger toward other people, we sacrifice our well-being and only hurt ourselves.

I am often asked by people how it is possible to stop feeling a certain way. How can I stop feeling envy, hatred, or anger? To this I ask another question: How do you drop a hot potato? The answer, of course, is that you just do — because a hot potato hurts your hands, you quickly let it go. That’s exactly the same way to lose a negative emotion. When you recognize that it hurts you more than anyone else, you will simply let it go.(DJS)

Born To Be Great!?

“Everyone is born with potential to be great. However, potential on its own is worthless. It’s only when we realize and live out our potential that it becomes meaningful. Tests are an effective method for bringing out our potential and making it real. A person may be born with the capacity to have faith, but it is only once he is tested that he becomes a man of faith. Or maybe someone is born with an innate ability to be a rock for others, but it’s only when she is tested that she becomes a woman of strength. We are born with the ability to love, but it’s through our tests that we discover how fierce our love can be. We are born with kindness, but we will never know the depths of our selflessness until we are put through a trial.”

“There is only failure when there is a test; however, tests are only given to those who can pass them.” Or, as the concept has been shortened in this Yiddish proverb, “God gave burdens, also shoulders.”

When you are faced with a test, remember: Every test is given by God out of love – and there is no such thing as a test from Him that we cannot pass!

This way of thinking brings hope, courage, forward movement and lasting success. Something GOOD is happening! (DJS)

(Texas Medical Center Hospice)

Caregivers’ Final Confessions….Part 3 of 3 !

Caregivers’ Final Confessions…Part 3 of 3

Page 3: 10 Caregiver Confessions: Secrets We Aren’t Proud Of !

Caregiver Confession #8: “I just want to scream, run away, hide somewhere, or change my identity.”

This is likely to happen to even the most patient caregivers. It’s human to feel overwhelmed by the constant neediness of others. It’s time to get some help with your caregiving so you can have a break. However, if you feel like this consistently, you should check with your doctor in case you are depressed or have other health issues of your own.

Caregiver Confession #9: “Maybe if I just take all of Mom’s sleeping pills I won’t have to wake up to this again.”

Get thee to a doctor immediately. Even occasional thoughts like this can mean you are clinically depressed and feel life is hopeless. Please get medical help now.

Caregiver Confession #10: “She is suffering so much. She’s been half dead for months. Why can’t she just let go and die?”

Believe it or not, this is a common thought. You aren’t a bad person. Why would you want to watch day in, day out suffering, where the quality of life, such as it is, is poor. Getting hospice care for the individual can help a great deal. Hospice staff counsels family members and they generally have volunteers who can help you. You need breaks, even if the care receiver could die when you are gone. You can’t sit by their bed side every minute, for months. There are worse things than death, so drop the guilt. You aren’t the only one who has had this thought.

Feel better, now that you know you aren’t alone with your thoughts? I’m sure you can add your own “confessions” to this list. You may even think , “Oh, I’ve thought worse things than this!” If so, share them with caregivers here at hospice. You will quickly see that you aren’t alone.

The main point is that having passing “bad thoughts” is normal. You are tired, stressed and pulled in all directions. People are crabby to you and seem ungrateful. It’s human to have negative thoughts.

However, if you find yourself consistently thinking in this negative manner, it’s time for outside help in the form of respite care for your loved one, breaks for you, or even counseling and/or medication for yourself. You may be depressed. That doesn’t mean you are bad. You are just human. It’s time to accept your humanity and get help. (DJS)

P.S..Thank You for your service and loving commitment!

(Texas Medical Center Hospice)

Caregiver Secrets…Part Two !

Caregiver Secrets: What Caregivers Are Really Thinking…See Part One below.

Part 2: 10 Caregiver Confessions: Secrets We Aren’t Proud

Caregiver Confession #4: “Dad has no clue what I give up to do this. He thinks his care is routine.”

This is a tricky one. As caregivers, we don’t want to make the care receiver feel like he or she is a burden to you. The flip side of that, however, is that sometimes caregivers are so giving and cheerful all the time, that the care receiver completely loses sight of the fact that we give up a lot of our lives to be caregivers.

Also, some care receivers are not cognitively capable of even understanding the concept that the caregiver has other obligations. If you have a constant nagging thought that you are unappreciated, you may be in over your head. Getting some respite care may help. Once the care receiver understands that you need to have a break, he or she may be more appreciative. Either way, if you take a break, you will likely feel more refreshed and able to cope with the situation.

Caregiver Confession #5: “Everybody wants a piece of me – there’s nothing of myself left for me.”

Nearly every person has had this feeling, whether it’s a new mother with a baby demanding to be fed, changed and nurtured while the boss is sending her emails from work, or a caregiver of elders who still has children who are needy, or a mate who feels neglected. Sometimes you just burn out. You need a break…right now!

In most cases, you get through this, but if it’s ongoing, you may need a third party to help you decide what you can give and what others must do. Say you are the primary caregiver for your dad and your mother-in-law. Your spouse is whiny because he/she feels neglected. It may be time to say, “If you help me by picking up some of this extra caregiving, we’ll have more time together.” This won’t always work, but some spouses just don’t “get” the teamwork concept unless they are directly approached. If this doesn’t work, look for some paid help. You need some time to yourself.

Caregiver Confession #6: “I can’t even take a bath without someone needing me.”

This is often a literal problem I hear a lot. If you like to relax by taking a half-hour break in the evening to relax in the tub – maybe with candles and music – but are routinely interrupted even during this sacred time for yourself – you are bound to feel some resentment. Expect to have this time interrupted on occasion, but if you never can take time to yourself, please look for some help. Even a Senior Companion from the Retired Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP), or a friend, may be able to sit with your loved one. If that isn’t possible, it’s time to look for a few hours of in-home help. Everyone needs some peace – even a caregiver. This goes for men caregivers as well. We all need “time off.” Take it.

Caregiver Confession #7: “Nothing I do pleases them – they are never happy.”

See number two above. This behavior is often not about you. It’s about them and their unhappiness over all of their losses. Do your best to detach from the criticism and get breaks when you can. Not taking criticism seriously is the best way to avoid resentment. Trying to understand why they are so critical can help (I’m not talking about historic family abuse here – just crabby, complaining behavior). (DJS)

Part Three to follow..

(Texas Medical Center Hospice)