The Two Kinds Of Learning

The Two Kinds of Learning

There’s two kinds of learning, conscious and unconscious.

Both are required for full understanding.

When we were kids, all learning was unconscious. Stuff like walking, talking, using certain tools and toys. We just had a certain unspoken desire, and we tried stuff until it worked.

We didn’t need to consciously plan or think as we had the deep programming to drive us forward.

We learned by copying. We saw somebody doing something, we got a deep desire to do the same thing, and we kept trying all kinds of different stuff until we got it right.

We had ZERO concept of failure. Only getting closer.

Imagine having this attitude when learning something requiring plenty of conscious thought, like Calculus or something.

You start the class not knowing squat, you do your best to study. The first test comes back, and you get 50 out of 100.

What do you think?

“Sweet! I’m halfway there!”

Not likely!

Why not?

For some reason, when we learn things consciously, we lose our “explorer” mindset. We lose the ability to judge whether or not we are getting closer, and replace that by judging whether or not we are all the way there.

So instead of feeling good about ourselves the entire journey, we feel like failures unless we get it a hundred percent right.

Naturally, this can lead to giving up halfway there. Imagine if you gave up learning to walk when you could only take three steps before falling on your face!

“I’m not very good at walking! I quit!”

The thing to understand here is we had to LEARN to feel like a failure. We had to LEARN that NOT getting one hundred percent correct was WRONG.

Now, as an adult there ARE some things that require this attitude. If you decided to drive down to the burrito restaurant, and crashed into a tree halfway there, it’s GOOD to feel like you did something wrong.

Otherwise the roads would be littered with wrecked cars.

The crucial skill of being an adult is knowing WHICH situation requires WHICH mindset.

The pass / fail mindset (like driving to the burrito store) or the LEARNING mindset (like learning ANY kind of useful or profitable skill).

The good news is it’s pretty easy to tell the difference. So long as you’re not going to break anything, hurt anybody or lose a significant amount of money, you can take your time learning, and just keep getting better and better.

Remember we have to unlearn to make room for learning. Yes, this will require patience, time, and commitment. Why rush the process. Easy does it.

(D.J.Saker)

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Rediscover Your Brain Power

Rediscover your Brain Power!

Once upon a time, you were a raving genius.

Your brain and the world, through your perceptions and experience, were like opposite sites of a magnet, irresistibly attracted to one another.

You looked out into the world through your eyes, saw beautiful and fascinating things, touched and felt things, and learned how to interact with reality to get what you wanted.

It wasn’t always easy, in fact it rarely was. But it was fun. Trying, getting feedback, and trying again was pretty much the story of your life.

Relentlessly moving forward, learning, experiencing, and learning some more.

Then something happened.

All those helpful and loving adults suddenly changed their tune.

Instead of being so “cute,” you were suddenly a pain in the you-know-what.

Then when you went to school, it got even worse. A bunch of people, just like you, were being herded like cattle.

Told to sit there, (for hours and hours) in really uncomfortable chairs while you were forced to listen to some boring person talk about some boring subject.

There’s a myth that the brain somehow “shuts off” when we reach a certain age, and to some extent, maybe it does.

But I’m sure being plucked out of a fun, learning, and safe environment and forced into some scary brainwashing center (um, I mean “school”) doesn’t help much.

The good news is your genius is still there.

All you’ve got to do is remove all those layers of gunk that were laid down on top of it by years of education, and you’ll be amazed what you can do.

Luckily, it’s not so hard. Kind of like remembering to ride a bike again after being told it’s impossible.

Just get on and start peddling, and let the fun being.

Learning, discovering, and unleashing your MASSIVE creativity. Above all, focus your thoughts on that which is good, positive, and take action with strong belief that all things are possible…because they are!

(D.J.Saker)

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday

Psalm 71:6 (WEB)

I have relied on you from the womb.
You are he who took me out of my mother’s womb.
I will always praise you.

Promise #217: I have cared for you from the moment you were born.

In this Psalm, David makes a declaration that it was actually God that took him out of his mother’s womb. In The Message Bible, this verse says ‘I’ve hung on you from the day of my birth, the day you took me from the cradle;’. The NIV Bible says ‘From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.’

What an amazing promise! Our God and Father was there on the day you were born! Many people carry around the feeling that their parents didn’t plan their birth, so they feel like their life was an accident. This Bible promise says the exact opposite! Not one person who has ever been born has been a mistake! God planned each birth and was in the delivery room to welcome all of us into the world.

If you struggle to feel that you belong in this world, I pray that this promise will go deep into your heart. God knit you together in your mother’s womb and He has cared for you from the moment you were born until today. And He will never stop caring for you because you are the apple of His eye!

Happy Birthday Patricia Jo…..(D.J.Saker)

Self Validation

Self Validation

Humans crave validation from other humans, and from ourselves.

Now, some people think that those who overtly seek validation should be dismissed as “shallow” or something, but the bottom line is ALL humans are hard wired to NEED validation.

The problem is when we try and ignore this, we open ourselves up to manipulation. It’s one of those subconscious drivers of human behavior that’s there whether we like it or not.

If we become overly concerned with “short term” validation, then it can become a problem, and we start to behave like “those people,” meaning everything we do is perceived as selfish and self serving.

I like to think of short term validation as like a “sugar high” from eating a donut or something. It feels really good in the moment, but it quickly fades and you feel really down. The tendency is to seek more short term sugar highs, which can lead to a cycle of self destructive behavior.

On the other hand, longer, deeper and more natural validation is like eating fruits, veggies and healthy fats. Slow burn, long term energy.

Short term validation is always seeking approval “in the moment,” while long term validation is like developing a good “reputation.”

Somebody who’s genuinely kind, genuinely interested in helping others without needing an immediate reward, and somebody that’s genuinely pleasant to be around.

Then there’s the best validation you can get, which is that which comes from within.

It’s one thing to build up a solid reputation, so whenever you behave “selflessly” you’re also keeping your reputation, (which necessarily depends upon the opinions of others) intact, but it’s something altogether different to ONLY be concerned with how you view yourself.

Like maybe you KNOW you are doing the right thing, but you also know that NOBODY will ever know.

They say the truest measure of character is how you behave when nobody is looking.

Ultimately, we ARE the judges of our own behavior, so you’d be better be able to sit quietly with yourself in peace.

Paradoxically, this mindset is also the absolute BEST way to persuade and influence others.

Figure out what they want, figure out how you can present your ideas in terms of their desires, and do so in a way so it seems like it was their idea all along.

They’re happy because they’re doing what you AND they want, and you’re happy because you are at peace with yourself and your environment.

When you can do this consistently, almost without thinking, then you’ve got it made.

(D.J.Saker)

The Sand Trap Of Perfection

The Sand Trap of Perfection

Everyone wants to be perfect – flawless, blameless, and excellent. The problem is that no one is, nor can anyone be, truly perfect. Perfection is reserved for God alone.

So while many of us make perfectionism — the quest to be perfect — a way of life, we aren’t helping ourselves. Instead, we are setting ourselves up to believe we can reach unrealistic goals, and in the long run, that makes us less productive, less resilient, and unsuccessful. As strange as it sounds, perfectionism sets us up to become perfect failures!

And that is perfectly alright. We all fall into the sand trap of perfection from time to time. The key to success and forward movement is to not stay camped out there.

The best role models are not the people to whom we can hardly relate. If their virtues seem unattainable to us, then we aren’t motivated to even try to become like them. However, when we are presented with individuals who struggle, stumble, and fail sometimes just like we do, but are still wonderful and successful, that is something we can aspire to. “If he can do it, so can I” becomes the attitude. It is empowering and encouraging.

The same principle holds when we set personal goals for ourselves. If we set the standard impossibly high, we aren’t nearly as motivated or as likely to achieve that goal. However, when we embrace our imperfections and set goals that honor our strengths as well as our weaknesses, we are well on the road to success.

Ultimately, God isn’t looking for perfection, and neither should we. Life is about becoming better – not perfect. It’s about being perfectly dedicated to becoming the best that WE can be – imperfections and all. (D J Saker)

A Short Story!

Stepping Up!

There once was a man who wanted to live an extraordinary life. He did many courses to learn what the masters could teach him. He read many books to learn what others had done to live their own extraordinary lives. He wrote his goals down… wonderful goals that included joy and happiness and love and success. One day he was with a friend, telling him about the latest seminar he had attended.

“It was amazing,” said the man. “Everything just came together. It was like the speaker was speaking to only me. I wrote tonnes of notes. I spoke to the speaker afterwards and learnt even more. I got so much out of it I’ve redone all my goals. This is fabulous!”

The man’s friend looked at him and smiled. “It’s great that you loved it. I can see you got a lot out of it. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” said the man, smiling because of his new-found knowledge. “Anything.”

“What has changed for you?” The question was asked quietly.

The man frowned, momentarily lost for words. “Everything! How can you ask that question? Everything has changed.” The man felt a grumbling inside of him. How could his friend ask such a question? Couldn’t he just see the difference about him? Couldn’t he tell how everything was different, now?

“Yes, I can see you’re happy. But what has changed? Specifically, what are you now doing differently?”

The man frowned again. What was his friend talking about? “I’ve told you. It changed everything. The speaker just knew what he was talking about.”

“Yes, and I’m sure the speaker could talk about how he had applied what he taught you,” said the man.

“Yes. He has done some amazing things. Truly inspirational.”

“And I bet he had examples of how other people had gone on to do amazing things with what they learnt, too?”

“Yes…” The man was feeling a little less sure of himself. “Yes, there were many stories.”

“And I’m sure the speaker said that this would be true for you, too…”

“Yes!” The man’s eyes lit up. “He did! That’s what I love.”

“Yes, I can see that,” said the man’s friend.

The man looked at his friend. “I’m glad you see,” he smiled, his equanimity restored.

“But,” his friend persisted, “What is different for you now?”

The man felt himself getting annoyed. “I’ve told you.”

“You’ve told me what is possible. You haven’t told me what you have acted on.”

“I’ve written my goals.”

“Yes. The same as you did after the last seminar.”

“I learnt how to manage my emotions,” said the man.

“Yes, the same as you did when you read that book a year ago.”

“I know how to feel totally motivated whenever I want to,” said the man.

“Yes, like you did five years ago at that NLP seminar.”

The man thought for a moment. “But it’s important to repeat these lessons. We’re not perfect. Repetition helps.”

“Yes, it does. Repetition through action is great. My question is…” He paused, knowing that if his friend got this, everything would change. “…what action have you taken?”

“Well,” said the man, smiling, “I need to learn all of this before I can act. I don’t want to make a mistake.”

“Hmmm. What would happen if you did… make a mistake?”

“I’d get it wrong.”

“And what would that mean?”

The man frowned. Confusion clouded his eyes.

His friend smiled gently. Confusion meant his friend was about to learn something, if he was ready. “Imagine a circle around you, and it’s your comfort zone. Imagine within it is everything that you’ve learnt. All the wonderful things you’ve discovered on these courses and in these books.” The man nodded, visualising the circle full of knowledge. “Now imagine everything outside of the circle is what you don’t know.”

“Yes,” said the man. “I can see it. So much to learn…”

“Now imagine for a moment,” said the man’s friend, “That to learn what is outside this circle you must go outside the circle…”

The man nodded, picturing that step. He felt something in him stir as he saw it happening. Something like fear, perhaps? Or was it anticipation?

“And imagine,” his friend continued, “That when you step outside the circle you will discover what you are capable of…”

“But I already know that,” the man protested.

“You know knowledge. You know what others are capable of.”

The man thought about that for a moment. “I’m confused.”

“That’s okay, this is where you need to be.” His friend leant forward. “As long as we seek simply to gather knowledge within our circle of comfort, we think we have certainty. Certainty over our environment, over our lives.”

“Yes, I feel that.”

“But what we don’t get to feel is everything else.”

“Like?” The man frowned. He was getting a glimmer of what his friend meant. Hadn’t he been seeking that one thing all these years that would give him certainty? That would give him control? That would let him feel less fear? What haven’t I been experiencing? he wondered.

“We can’t feel courage within our circle of comfort because we don’t risk anything. We can’t feel compassion for ourselves, because we don’t allow ourselves to stumble. We can’t feel true joy because we have cocooned ourselves away in safety.” The friend stopped, wondering how this, final lesson was being received.

“But I’ve learnt so much…” The man thought about it, and shook his head, seeing the truth. “No, I have only gained knowledge.”

“So how can we learn?”

“By action.” He felt his body react as he said those words. “But what if I fail? Shouldn’t I wait until I’m sure I’ll be able to do it?”

“You have waited. Certainty doesn’t turn up in with the mail. We have to act, to test ourselves, to experience the knocks and bumps of life. When we experience this and cope and learn how to do it differently next time… only then does certainty turn up.”

“But what if I’m afraid?” And he was.

“Fear plus action is where you discover courage.”

The man thought about it. “So I must act…”

“You cannot discover courage in what you are certain of. You can only discover it when you are tested. You have spent a lifetime gathering knowledge like nuts for the winter. Start eating them.” The man’s friend laughed at his own joke.

“Eat them? How?” Realization dawned. “I must apply what I have learnt.”

“Yes.”

“But what if I don’t know what to do?”

“Then you will discover how you learn.”

“What if I make a mistake?”

“Then you will discover how not to do something.”

“What if I get scared?”

“Then you will discover your courage.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then you will find another way that does.”

The man nodded. “I have to go,” he said. “I have to go and eat some nuts.”

“Have fun,” said his friend.

“What if it’s not fun?”

His friend smiled.

The man smiled too. “Then I’ll choose to think differently about it. And if it’s not ideal, I’ll change what I do. And if I get lost, I’ll discover how to find myself.”

Finding yourself….now that’s a goal worth pursuing! 🙂

(DJS)

The Power of Positive Affirmations !

Ever wish that you could tip the scales of life in your favour?

Well you can when you know how and it’s easier than you might think.

Because whether you are aware of it, or not, every thought that you make and every single piece of inner dialogue that plays out in your mind is affecting your life on an intrinsic scale.

If you think negative thoughts regularly – as do most people, you can only imagine how damaging they are over a period of time.

These regular thoughts become your beliefs – and can work both for you and against you.

Think about it. You learn behaviours from those around you starting from childhood and you absorb these behaviours as a truth. But if these behaviours are not valuable or in-line with your goals, they can make you self-sabotage including how you think and feel.

Imagine just how much better you would feel if you could utilize the power of positive thinking by way of affirmations instead.

Affirmations are such a simple and highly effective method of creating a positive life, especially when it comes to the law of attraction.

An affirmation is simply a statement that is often repeated in your head or out loud.

It’s not brain-washing yourself to think, feel or act in a different way, instead, it’s utilizing a positive tool to educate your thought processes. And best of all, positive affirmations (when structured the correct way) really do work!

Consider it a simple way of adopting new, more self-empowering and healthier habits!

You can target any aspect of your life – low self-esteem or even if you simply wish to make a good first impression at a job interview.

Simply put, you get to choose which thought processes you want to keep and you discard those that are damaging and destructive. When you replace those nagging insecurities with self-nurturing beliefs that are positive instead you will start to see just how different your life can be.

Start by making a list of aspects that you would like to change and improve.

Think about what you really need and then write down a series of targeted affirmations that reflect your true desires. Always write your affirmations in the present tense, and in a positive and dynamic way. For example;

It feels wonderful that I love and accept myself completely. I am delighted to be self-confident in social situations. It feels powerful to express myself effectively.
I am so happy to be exercising regularly. My body is vibrantly healthy and filled with energy.
I am perfect for every job interview I attend and they want to hire me immediately.
Never create affirmations that are less than dynamic as they won’t work, for example;

I hope I do well in the interview and get the job
You can see the difference?

The trick to making your affirmations work for you is to repeat them several times a day and say them out loud with real conviction. The absolute best times for you to do this is first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Saying them out loud in front of a mirror is also very effective J

To get even greater benefit, I suggest you also take your list with you to work and (if others can overhear), then just mentally repeat them to yourself.

Repeating your affirmations regularly is a learned behaviour but they can truly help to make you become the person that you deserve and want to be!

Of course if you wanted to greatly speed up this process and the effectiveness of your affirmations, then my professionally produced videos have become a proven method for you to achieve your goals in a fraction of the time.

You simply sit back and relax while you watch your favorite success accelerator subliminal video twice per day. In just 12 minutes a day over 30 days – you will see exceptional results. They really are the ultimate in fast and effective affirmation delivery.

But whichever method you decide is best for you, I highly encourage you to start feeding your mind with positive influences and suggestions regularly – and positive affirmations are a very powerful way for you to do this, very easily and very effectively.

What are some of your favourite affirmations? (DJS)