Who or What is your Model?
Models of the world can be a tough thing to shed.
Especially ones that were created during our formative years.
For example, when you were a young child, it felt comfortable to express yourself whenever you felt like it, without a second thought. Wet diapers, being hungry, scared or just plain bored, you didn’t think twice about letting the world know.
But after a few years of “negative” responses from adults, you learned that expressing yourself can be a difficult thing. The more “important” the person is you’re expressing your ideas to, the more difficult it seems.
The thing about models though, is that they are just models. They AREN’T reality. They are just what we represented as reality in our heads.
One of the BEST skills you can develop in life is to simply “try on” other models, and see if they work better or worse than the models you’re currently using.
The truth about reality is that it is SO incredibly complex, all we can ever do is approximate it. And those approximations (our unconscious models) are NEVER going to be anywhere near accurate.
They may be sort of accurate in some instances, but completely inaccurate in others.
This is why finding out what the models are in OTHERS is crucial to any effective communication.
Most people walk up and try to impose their own model on others, without even knowing what they’re doing.
To make matters worse, most people don’t even KNOW what their own models are, let alone the idea that everybody’s got a different one.
But if you first understand that models are just approximations, AND everybody’s got a different one, communicating, selling, persuading, seducing, ANY kind of human to human interaction will become a lot easier and smooth.
The trick is to simply set aside your OWN model (which isn’t really any more accurate than anybody else’s) and find out what THEIR model is.
Once you understand their model of the world, THEN you can present your ideas in a way that will get them readily and eagerly accepted, WHATEVER they are.
Kind of like FIRST learning THEIR language, then speaking YOUR ideas in a way they’ll understand and agree with.
This, of course, will get you MUCH more agreement and resonance with others. (D.J.Saker)